O sun /flower
O
sun / flower
( hallelujah! )
rambunctious
golden petals
illuminate pink pebbles in a puddle
illuminate bedeviled black beetles
journeying on a dubious path
O
sun / flower
rambunctiousrazzmatazz -- yes! -- razz/ma/tazz
zings six students skipping
zings a wise woman warbling
in mornings glistening cathedral
zings Lorena -- aye Lorena! --sneaking
in the rear door of Roberto‘s house
O
sun / flower
flame in the morning sky
blossom of my heart
essence of my being
splendor within
I meditate on your beauty
Today
I’m a monk
serene in your presence
surrendering to your flame
I like the 2nd draft, but I also liked the first one. The 2nd one, however just sounds so much better. Once again, I'm not a professional writer, I wish I was, but this sings to me. It tells a story of a Spring that's finally come. Life has been renewed, there's hope again. And that long tunnel that was so full of darkness and that felt neverending has finally opened up to the light! For some reason I keep seeing bubbling little junebugs, scurrying along the ground happy to be out and about after being locked in darkness. This poem makes me happy. It gives me a feeling of lightness. I can smell the fresh air and feel the sun shining on me. I hope I'm making sense. I know that everyone reads their own thing into poems, but this is what I read and feel in this one.
ReplyDeletejust found your site recently. this is an evocative read.
ReplyDeletehope everything is well. i'll be back to read more.
Billy
i know everyone reads their own thing into the poems
ReplyDeleteanon
that's right
ur right
i'm just glad ur reading me
peace
este
billy
ReplyDeletei've been reading u ever since
i read one of ur comments
on jimbo's blog
i stop by several times a week
always enjoy ur shit
thanks brother
for dropping a comment
power to the poet
este
love love this...
ReplyDeletebeautiful words.
Cheers.
A+++
thank u
ReplyDeletepeace & love
estee
I am enthralled.
ReplyDeletethank u kay
ReplyDeletepeace & love
my sister
esteban
I love the painting and the vibrancy of your poem is well suiting. I love the ending awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the painting you've chosen the vibrancy of your poem suits it well, its got a well pop to it. Love those last lines dynamite!
ReplyDeletegracias mlm
ReplyDeletealways glad for ur visits
paz y amor
este