evening notes #5

5

"Mary, it was nice breaking bread. I guess Amanda and Gabriel are officially hooked on tortas al pastor."

Mary, at twilight, I always look for the Big Dipper, then off of Alkaid, the star at the tip of the handle, I find the North Star. Afterward, I settle into my lawn chair, turn on my music, pour myself a drink, and light a cigar. I often wonder if, in another galaxy, in a faraway solar system, another being is stargazing and contemplating the existence of other intelligent life.

Usually, on bright, star-filled nights, I drift back to my youth in Texas, to my grandfather's farm. In the evening, after a hard day's work and after dinner, our dessert would come from the garden. Albert and I -- Shio straggling behind -- walked down row after row searching for the juiciest meloncito, cantaloupe, or honeydew. Before we ate our fruit, we'd place it in the fresh, cold water of the irrigation ditch, and then we'd recline and wait for the stars. We'd talk about extra-terrestrials, alien creatures, and space exploration. Time would fly, and soon the moon would appear, and the Texas sky, aglitter with stars, would transport us to another world.

In those moments, I'd marvel at God's creation, and my belief in an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being was reaffirmed. And underneath the umbrella of God's hand, my imagination ran wild unable to contain the infinite power of the Creator's glory. But ultimately, my thoughts would turn to the existence of man and what lay beyond: spirit, soul, afterlife, paradise.

When I sit in my lawn chair and gaze into the star-filled night, I am face to face with God, and the universe makes me feel extraordinary and immense, not small and insignificant. Faith and His creation anchor me. The stars call me home to the infinite, to the eternal. One day, somewhere beyond the Milky Way, beyond the hundred billion galaxies that swirl in space, I will abide in my Father's mansion.

Mary, you're an inspiration, and I love you, and maybe one night, you can treat me to a cigar, and we can stargaze together. And if you're nice, I'll even show you my special star which burns in the northern sky like the Star of Bethlehem. What do you say?

Well, talk to you later. And you know I love you more.

evening notes #1

1

"How are you, Mary? I hope you had a wonderful day."

Saturday night, at around 10, I was on my back porch, smoking a cigar and having a drink. Across the street, neighbors had a fire going and were roasting marshmallows. I guess it was a fellowship of Christian women. They were singing hymns and such. I was listening to Al Green, surrounded by my flowers and chimes. Occasionally the chimes played soothingly as a breeze caressed them. It was a beautiful night. The moon looked like a pearl against the night sky. Beside her, because of an astrological occurrence, Mars shone bright like the Star of David.

So there I sat, smoking my cigar, drinking my tequila, letting my thoughts drift into space when the women began to pray. I lowered my music, turned out my cigar, and listened. An older woman led the prayer, and soon others joined in. Their voices rose to a crescendo, and my heart broke, and I also prayed. They prayed for the healing of church and family members and for the healing of the world. I prayed for you and your family. I prayed His will be done, although I wished otherwise. There I was in the dark, on my porch, amid this crazy, weird, beautiful moment, praying.

I hadn't spoken to God for some time, but this wasn't planned, and it just happened. A hush fell over the gathering, then a gust of wind brought them out of their deep meditation. They hugged, and there was laughter and hallelujahs. I remembered my walk with the Lord; though it seemed like a century ago, a longing overcame me. It was a hallelujah moment, and I reflected on my life as I stared into the vast universe and listened to their worship songs. The moon, the Creator's unblinking eye, shinned its light on me, and it was good.

I sat there for a good bit thinking of you and how much I love you, but more importantly, how much our Father in heaven loves you. I felt mom and dad's presence and all our loved ones, which brought me peace. Mary, I'm here for you, but the most beautiful thing is the Great Comforter dwells within you. He will always be there.

Well, I just wanted to share my moment with you. And Nana, never forget that I love you more.